Seriously. What is it with Outside Lands Festival and the line-ups they continue to churn out? Well, for the past two years for that matter. Lets start with last year’s line-up. Not too shabby but definitely questionable considering many other festivals showcased some very impressive line-ups even without Radiohead. Which brings me to last years savior, Radiohead. That was the kick-off day headliner, arguably the best band in the world right now. What were the other headliners? A washed up Tom Petty and our generation’s Jimmy Buffet, Jack Johnson. Admit it, the only thing more annoying than a Jack Johnson fan is a Jimmy Buffet fan (Parrothead? GTFO!). The rest of the line-up however was stellar, you had Beck and The Black Keys on Friday, Primus, Cake, Regina Spektor, and Lupe Fiasco on Saturday, and Wilco, Broken Social Scene, Bon Iver, Andrew Bird, and Stars on Sunday. I’m missing a whole lot more but you get the idea, there was no shortage of great acts and there were plenty of times where I had to sacrifice seeing someone I liked to see another band. Which is usually the sign of a good festival, since they have so many good acts that you’re torn.  I’ll admit, it was a lot of fun when I went. I also realized how much I hate hippies but that’s another story for another time. But last year’s incredible acts clouded my vision with the amount of ‘Bro-Bands’ that performed as well. Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, and ALO just to name a few. Granted a few festivals at the time had these same acts, so I did not fear what was to come in 2009.

Enter 2009, rumors of Green Day, Dave Matthews, and Bjork arise until ‘‘ started giving hints on his Twitter account as to who will be at this year’s Outside Lands Festival. After a fun evening of finding out who was who and some I just couldn’t figure out for the life of me, the real line-up is announced. Jaws dropped. B-b-black Eyed Peas? J-j-jason Marz? This is in San Francisco! Not the Shoreline Amphitheatre at Mountain View! Were they fucking with us? I mean with Radiohead and Wilco in the line-up last year were they really going to expect us to believe that one of the most artistic, well respected, and musical revolutionary cities in the world was going to host a festival where Tom Jones and Incubus were performing? Sasquatch Festival had Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Jane’s Addiction, and Erykah Badu as headliners, Bonnaroo had Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, Elvis Costello, and Al Green as headliners, and All Points West had Tool, My Bloody Valentine, and JAY-Z! Which brings me to The Beastie Boys, our one shining star headliner, dropped from the line-up and replaced with Tenacious D. Oh gee thanks. It could be worse, a whole lot worse. But fuck, APW got Jay-Z and Lollapalooza got the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and we get Nacho Libre? Yes we have a fair amount of good acts; TV on the Radio, Mars Volta, M.I.A., Q-Tip, Mastodon, The National, and Band of Horses. But why does Outside Lands have to be the laughing stock of the summer festivals? This is San Francisco! We pride ourselves in the weird and the bizarre. There are plenty of bands that would have gladly picked up their guitar and taken the headlining spot for one of the greatest cities in America. I’m not going to bother naming any, I will just get aggravated.

So in the end…I bought tickets. Like a sucker. While I catch up on my old Pearl Jam albums and hope to God that Tenacious D lives up to their self proclaimed “Greatest Band in the World” , I ask the organizers of this year’s Outside Lands Festival to look out in the festival grounds this year and ask themselves, “Am I proud of this year’s line-up? Is that a group of muscle bound guys with a backwards baseball caps, holding huge cups of Coors Light, and faded sunglasses yelling ‘SHOW ME YOUR TITS!’ at Fergie?” “What is Fergie doing on the same line-up as John Vanderslice anyway?”

I understand organizing these things probably isn’t easy. But you’ve got a reputation now. Two years into the festival thing and you’re starting to gain a specific audience. Lets hope next year’s will knock this out of the park. Otherwise I’m sticking with Treasure Island Festival, at least hipsters have good taste in music.

Radiohead – These Are My Twisted Words (2009)

Jay-Z – D.O.A. (Death Of Autotune) from Blueprint 3 (2009)

Pearl Jam – Supersonic from Backspacer (2009)

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